Guest columnist Gene Stamell: Touch grass and so much more

A Merriam-Webster dictionary sits atop citation files at the company’s offices in Springfield. The AP Stylebook replaced Webster’s New World College Dictionary as its primary dictionary this past May with Merriam-Webster, considered a more permissive dictionary.

A Merriam-Webster dictionary sits atop citation files at the company’s offices in Springfield. The AP Stylebook replaced Webster’s New World College Dictionary as its primary dictionary this past May with Merriam-Webster, considered a more permissive dictionary. AP

By GENE STAMELL

Published: 10-30-2024 4:29 PM

 

In this column, I hope I don’t come across as an old, persnickety curmudgeon, unable to adapt to ever-changing times and mores. Yes, I still use boring he/him pronouns, but I fully accept and approve of people choosing the pronouns and lifestyles that best reflect their true selves. I’m a modern-day senior, if you don’t count my clothing, taste in music, or lack of presence on social media.

My tolerance for change, however, does have its limit, which I reached a few weeks ago while listening to a radio interview with members of the editorial board at Merriam-Webster. The board had just approved the inclusion of 200 new words in its online dictionary. According to the panel of voters, these words have “demonstrated widespread use over time, and offer a window into the world today.” They further explained: “We continuously encounter new ways of describing the world around us, and the dictionary is a record of those changes.”

Fine and dandy with me. Thirty years ago, I wasn’t using the terms text or email, mini split or dustbuster, but I do now, and they should be, and are, included in all reputable dictionaries. The world changes, generation by generation, and language needs to keep up with what’s happening around us.

But in that same interview, I received devastating news: For over four decades, I have been misleading elementary-age children when teaching them about compound words! Cupcake and snowman are, indeed, compound words, but they are more correctly called closed compound words. Who knew that ice cream and deviled eggs also fall into the compound category? Apparently, they are considered open compound words! (Dear reader, I can picture expressions of awe and bewilderment on your faces as you absorb this startling linguistic development. I, too, am in a state of disbelief.)

I’m sure you agree that this, alone, would constitute enough upsetting information for one column. But I must press on and offer the following examples of words, open compound words, and terms (do not ask me the difference between the latter two!) now included in Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary:

*badassery *touch grass *beach read *street corn *shadow ban *dungeon crawler

*far left *far right *MAGA *snog *For You Page *cash grab *nepo baby

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Let’s remind ourselves of Merriam’s (we are now on a first-name basis) justification for including new words in the dictionary: These words have “demonstrated widespread use over time.” Hmm. I’m not sure I’ve ever overheard someone on the street say: “The lead guitarist’s riffs are filled with badassery,” or “I love you so much, let’s snog (kiss). As it turns out, I touch grass almost all the time (“Participate in normal activities in the real world as opposed to those online,” although I have never shadow banned anyone (“Caused a user to be hidden from other users without the user’s knowledge.”) I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how to shadow ban some poor soul lost in the cloud even if I wanted to.

Some additions make perfect sense: The terms far left and far right are in common usage, and even the term MAGA has come to represent a political movement. If you care to peruse the 200 new entrees, I’d wager you will find that 20-30% of them will pass muster with you.

And what do I know? Maybe Generations X, Y, and Zers talk about dungeon crawler and badassery all the time.

But how about my favorite, nepo baby? Merriam defines the term as “A person who gains success or opportunities because of their family connections.” My problem with the term is this: Why stop there? Why not include nepo con, nepo narcissist, and nepo misogynist? I guess the answer is that those open compound words are not yet in the common vernacular. Then again, when was the last time you heard someone referred to as a nepo baby?

I don’t envy a lexicographer’s job. I’m sure it is hard, tedious work, but less stressful than, say, brain surgery, peacekeeping, air traffic control, child care, and about 90% of the jobs people do to earn a living. Someone, though, has to decide whether cash grab and ultra-processed should be included in Merriam-Webster, right? And who wouldn’t want a job where every decision you make is always correct?

Gene Stamell touches grass in Leverett. He welcomes feedback at gstamell@gmail.com.